I am a Survivor
Domestic Violence steals, and kills the life of a family. It often ends in tragedy, and those who survive are scarred .At one time our home was happy, and loving. Then it became a fearful place. When in your home you hear your mom being beaten, and crying, you know your Paradise is lost. When you are whipped, yelled at, molested for years, you know your Paradise is lost. When you know your pet was eaten, and another killed, you know Paradise is lost. Domestic Violence has consequences for all in the family. My mom for a while made excuses for him, and always said but she loved him. Love does not hurt you. Love does not cause you fear. Love does not take advantage of you, or abuse you. You may have to lose your Paradise for a while, but was it really paradise or hell? A house is not a home,
it’s you and your loved ones who make it a home or a hell. Domestic Violence
does not discriminate and can happen at any time during a relationship. It takes place in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships. It crosses all ethnic, social, and economic lines. None is immune. The key in stopping this is knowledge, and awareness. It is a very real reality for way to many. It is passed from generation to generation A Poem Losing Myself
The sharp cold sting of your anger wraps across my skin I still see the marks that you engrave into me Your words drip into my mind like a deadly poison Changing the way I perceive myself You're an animal with an insatiable appetite for killing people's happiness You can't seem to stop until I'm bruised and broken down I lose the strength to hold myself up as my body flops to the ground I sense you looming over me laughing in my faceTo you this is a sickened pleasure But to me it's my worst nightmare I scream and shout until it's a distant whisper I cry and whimper cowering in the corner like a timid child Will this torture ever stop
© Gemma Pearman. All rights reserved Many times it never begins this way. Often the abuser is very charming. Manyabusers where abused themselves,and have learned this is the norm at home. I can tell you back in the day it was normal to keep home issues private. No one wanted to know about it as the thinking was it is not our busness. It is sad this is still the problem in many cases. I have lived with my mom in domestic violence,and we were lucky to survive. I have stopped a relationship as a teen because of abuse which was begining.
Here are some signs of domestic abuse;
Having a partner with a bad temper, or one who is jealous or possessive Being overly eager to please the abuser Checking in with abusive partner frequently to outline daily activities or confirm prior plans Frequent injuries and cl
aiming of “accidents”
Inconsistent attendance at work, school, or other social activities Excessive clothing or accessories to hide signs of physical abuse Low self-esteem and self-worth
Limited access to friends, family, transportation, or money Depression or anxiety or other personality changes Here is what WebMD says
” Does your partner:
Embarrass you with put-downs? Look at you or act in ways that scare you? Control what you do, who you see or talk to, or where you go? Stop you from seeing your friends or family members? Take your money or paycheck, make you ask for money, or refuse to give you money? Make all of the decisions? Tell you that you're a bad parent or threaten to take away or hurt your children? Threaten to commit suicide? Prevent you from working or going to school? Act like the abuse is no big deal or is your fault, or even deny doing it? Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets? Intimidate you with guns, knives, or other weapons? Shove you, slap you, choke you, or hit you? Threaten to kill you?
f any of these things or other types of abuse are happening, you need to seek help. It's important to know that you are not alone. The way your partner acts is not your fault. Help is available. Do you have a friend, coworker, relative, or neighbor who you think may be in an abusive relationship? Signs that someone you know is being abused :
Bruises or injuries that look like they came from choking, punching, or being thrown down. Black eyes, red or purple marks at the neck, and sprained wrists are common injuries in violent relationships. Attempting to hide bruises with makeup or clothing Making excuses like tripping or being accident-prone or clumsy. Often the seriousness of the injury does not match up with the explanation. Having few close friends and being isolated from relatives and coworkers and kept from making friends Having to ask permission to meet, talk with, or do things with other people Having little money available; may not have cred
it cards or even a car”
What are the long term effects on children who are abused?
· Child abuse and neglect have been shown to cause important regions of the brain to fail to form or grow properly, resulting in impaired development. These alterations in brain maturation have long-term consequences for cognitive, language, and academic abilities and are connected with mental health disorders (Tarullo, 2012) · The immediate emotional effects of abuse and neglect
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isolation, fear, and an inability to trust
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can translate into lifelong · psychological consequences, including low self-esteem, depression, and relationship difficulties
Sources
http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/tc/domestic-violence-signs-of-domestic-violence https://www.childwelfare.gov/preventing/ https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/domestic_violence/impact.cfm For Teens http://www.stoptheviolence.org/dv-teen-dating-violence Help for Domestic Violence http://www.thehotline.org/
The otherside of abuse not many like to look at, or even believe it happens is, the abuse of men. Yes men get abused as well. Some women get so angry for this to be suggested. It is true there is still many more women,and children who get abused then men.
It is not publicised because of shame, and the sterotyping of how a man should be. If a man is a victim we look at him as week, or for some reason deserving the abuse. This is so wrong. We are each sacred,valuable in our own selves. NO ONE deserves abuse of any kind. I think we as a society today do not value life as generations ago did. We need to value life again. It begins with individuals, and in the home. It also takes humility to go and get help for oneself,and family.Be an abuser,victim,or both,one cannot change this over night,or alone. I also think in this generation of today, many have forgotten manners. Manners are not so much taught in homes like they were in the generations before. It is little things that become big things.
Women-
May I say to us all, we do not need a man to be fulfilled, or happy. We do not need another to be happy, and fulfilled.We must find this within. Somone said " Happiness is based on happenings- everything goes right we are happy,but Joy is what will carry you through in every circomstancwe, and no one can take joy from you.You give it away." Jesus gives Joy.
However I know we all have various beliefs,so my point one must find joy, or stregnth within first. Yes we are emotional beings,even more so than men.Men are visual. Learn, and I am speaking to myself too,as is easier said than done for many of us. Love ourselves, than we can love others,and attract true love. It does say somewhere.love your neighbor,as you love yourself. How can you love another, if you do not love self?
http://www.scribd.com/doc/229706948/Aurora-Rising-Leaving-the-Past-to-Soar
